No one ever said English had to make sense. In fact, sometimes it can be downright perplexing. Like Mitt Romney’s platform, many concepts are in direct opposition to one another.
The following list of language perplexities are just some of the many examples of the sometimes confusing nature of English.
Why do we drive on a parkway, but park in a driveway?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
Why do we ship by car, and send cargo by ship?
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
Pineapples neither come from pines or apples.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, why don’t humanitarians eat humans?
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
Why are boxing and wrestling rings square?
Writers write, but fingers don’t fing.
The plural of goose is geese, so why isn’t the plural of moose, meese?
How can something be hot as hell and cold as hell at the same time?
Why does an alarm clock go off by going on?
English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.
How can slim chance and a fat chance mean the same thing?
Why does ‘I could care less’ mean the same thing as ‘I couldn’t care less’?
We recite at a play and play at a recital.
We can make amends but not one amend.
Why are ‘A Wise man’ and ‘A Wise guy’ opposites?
If we have ‘he’, ‘his’, and ‘him’, why don’t we have ‘she’, ‘shis’, and ‘shim’?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
Why is there no such thing as a combobulated, gruntled, ruly, or peccable person?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it stand to reason that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. And “I do” is the longest sentence.